Dick Cheney's heart and other small packages.

The Brain Freeze Times

Dick Cheney has no pulse.
Yeah apparently he had some major heart surgery where a pump is doing all the work. He legally has no pulse anymore and has to wear a bracelet that says so, in case something happens and people assume he's a zombie.

Here's the thing... I know what happens when you ASS-U-ME but come on! We already knew he was undead.



Political Humor Failures aside,

Good things come in small packages.
I am, of course, referring to muffins.
It has come to my attention that someone (ok, one person) wants me to do a segment on muffin flavors. Please comment with your favorite muffin flavor. I'd like someone, anyone, even someone minus a muffin fetish, to comment just so I can know someone has read this.

In other news...
I'm co-authoring a book!!!!
I'm supposed to just be dropping hints here but it was inspired by another Ass in our life.
And everyone please meet my co-author DinoRwar!
I'll let her post what she wants of the book, its still a major Work in Progress but a one-eyed peg legged pirate could see how much potential this project has (the peg leg really has nothing to do with it. Just painting a picture).

Love and cupcakes! (Oh fine, muffins!)
-Azul

Here's to hoping!

Its been more than a year since my last post, which feels like a good enough reason to post another one. The purpose of this post is really to see if anyone ever reads my blog. But while I'm at it, there's no better time for an update in the world of Azul.
This summer I've actually decided to count the number of books I've read. It seemed like a good idea in the first two weeks when I read 10 books in a row but then swim practice hit and I'm only up to 14. However, that is not to say I read anything so fast I did not take time to smell the roses, or that old book smell some of us enjoy so much. On my list were:
Libba Bray's "A Great and terrible Beauty" and the other books in that fantastic series
Darren Shan's Demonata Series (I read Cirque du Freak and thought "Why not?")
and Meg Cabots Airhead series
The first? I loved it. Not only is it unique, it is riveting. This series deals with the situations teenage girls dealt with in Britain's Imperialistic prime and also with the passions and emotions that drive those girls to their decisions in their not-so-typical situations. There is dark magic and power struggles aplenty... and this short little review doesn't do the book justice. If you're a teenage girl, go read it. Go.
The second and third series were mostly tributes to authors I have loved in the past, and though the books were well written, they were quick reads that were done in a day. However: If you want the perfect description of me, just read Airhead. Em Watts is me in a nutshell, if I were in a book based in New York City.
A Final Note: I was in Time Magazine!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes indeed I was informed at my confirmation that the first ever letter I'd written to the acclaimed magazine had been published. The reason I'd written was because of the Time top 100, because of a young girl named Reem Al-Numery. Her story really touched me, and I encourage everyone to read it. And while you're looking up old Time magazines, look up the May 15th issue featuring your truly!
Scratch that. I;ll just copy paste it right here. As long as I'm bragging, I'll see my act of anti-modesty through.

"The TIME 100 this year was full of big names, big people and big stories [May 10]. It was very interesting to read, but my favorite story was on Reem Al Numery. In high school I've been learning about the dangers of being a girl in an Islamic nation and was told these girls live their desperate lives without hope of change. It really moved me to see that a girl not much younger than me had the strength to stand up not only to her abusive father but also to an institution as powerful as the Islamic faith. Thank you, TIME, for not letting her get lost among the bigger names. Now she can serve as an inspiration to us all."
I've got to say: I feel pretty awesome.
If you actually read all the way through, THANK YOU! You deserve a reward because you're probably the first. Its not that I'm uninteresting... just not well advertised.
-Zuly

"Hate blog" possibly "Almost hate Blog"

Yes indeed why don't I call it that? The title works, first and foremost because I'm a teenage girl who thrives on angst. And that's about the only reason. It's probably ironic that I'm sitting at my laptop, alone, complaining of a lack of social life but there you go. Oh and because this is actually a blog about learning, and not really a blog about hockey, I've decided to do a book suggestion.

Being the avid reader and nerd that I am I've done quite a bit of reading in my spare time. My father has always (except for when he takes away my books) encouraged these talents and in doing so has led me down the paths of some of his favorite authors. Cue: Simon R. Green. Having been introduced to this Science-Fiction author in October-ish of 2008 I immediately fell in love with this witty author's brilliant characters and devilish charm that accompanied each of his unique characters. So far three series of his have drawn me in:

• Stories from The Nightside,
• Deathslayer,
• The man with the Golden Torc

The Nightside trilogy was what first opened my eyes to Green's talent for mystique. He took the idea of a Private Eye and shaped his story from there, for his main character has an inner eye, one that is all seeing. There are dangers to using this power, however, for everything is dangerous in the Nightside. Allow me to explain: The Nightside is the dark heart of London where nothing short of instinct and a whole lot of alcohol can keep you alive for long, and usually not very long at that. John Taylor makes his living off the things that go lost in the land of things that go bump and is very good at it until he starts learning some things about his not-so-human mother that can never be very good for the Nightside, not at all...

I haven't quite finished the first in the massive Deathstalker series yet. So far it totally intrigues me, being the most Science-Fiction-y piece of his to date. It's interesting to see when an author repeats some favorite phrases of his in different series. A particular favorite of mine is "And that's when things went to hell in a hurry" and etc. This book is also a perfect example of why shouldn't judge anything by it's cover. Before I was a big reader I'd often browse Dad's bookshelf to look at the pretty pictures if nothing else. The man on the front cover of the Deathstalker series struck me as the kind of man Superman must be. Strong, brave, a natural born leader, and according to the back he was an outlawed Noble. Now it's time to take a look at the real Owen Deathstalker. Boy was I surprised when I opened this book to find, not the hero of my imagination, but your run of the mill sarcastic, slightly lazy, Simon Green Character. My book judging had been way off, because I should have known Simon Green never makes a perfect character. Never. Even so Owen provides the humor Green is known for, along with the other cast of rebels whom he employs. 970 something years after his famous ancestor disappears, Owen Deathstalker is suddenly and without reason, cast out of the favors of the Mighty Empress. He has grown out of family tradition, becoming a historian, but now finds himself in the need of the fabled Family fighting powers. With the help of Hazel D'Ark he escapes to Mistworld where it is decided he is to lead a rebellion against the corrupt Empire. There's just one problem. The only device capable of bringing about the fall of the Empress vanished over 900 years ago with the original Deathstalker. Legend says he's still alive somewhere but Owen will have to fight through hell and high water before his tiny rebellion has even a spark of a chance...

God I love cliffhangers.

Finally onto my favorite: The Man with the Golden Torc. Set in modern day London this story explores many of the horrors of the Nightside, without there actually being a Nightside. The main character Edwin Drood is your average run-out-of-the-battle-scene-lucky-to-still-have-my-ass-intact character but I love him all the same. A few weeks after reading the only two books in the series, I noticed something odd about Edwin's name. Green could have pulled any old name out of his head and said "There. Fred. That'll do" but he didn't. Instead he used the name of the main character from a book by Charles Dickens. More importantly: the book Dickens's was writing when he died, his unfinished novel. Considering the constant intrigue surrounding Edwin and all the Droods this is very fitting and when I saw that, sitting in 8th period English class, it gave me a rush of joy, like finding that I had discovered there was a missing puzzle piece that only the maker and choice few people knew about. Oh and if you already knew about Edwin Drood, keep it to yourself. Don't burst my bubble. Edwin Drood carries a secret like no other. He is a member of a Family that is essentially composed of magically enhanced spies. The Droods controll those things that go bump in the night and even take care of the cleanup so that the average citizen never need panic. Edwin is the black sheep of the family and is famous for being the only Drood to have left the "family fortress" so to speak and lived to tell the tale. The secret to the Drood's success lies in the golden necklaces around each Drood throat. Without them they'd be nothing more than a crazy extended family, but with the torcs each Drood can be enveloped in a flawless armour of living metal, making them invincible. It is just Edwin's luck and some careful snooping that leads to the discovery of his big secret, the mother of all family secrets. Forget an insane uncle hiding in the closet, the really crazy one's usually are assigned field work. No, this one secret will cause Edwin Drood to need more than his quick wit if he ever hopes to combat it. This secret that lies at the heart of the Droods, trusted by all, could eventually bring about the fall of Edwin's great family....

Whew I think I'm done writing for the night. Hope I convinced anyone, AKA my one reader, to read anything penned down by Simon R. Green.

Happy birthday to me!

Here are today's top ten reasons to celebrate:
1) My birthday is today. REJOICE!
2) The anniversary of Gandhi's death was yesterday not today. Rejoice!
3) Um... this list will now only have 5 reasons to celebrate. Rejoice!
4) UMMMMMMM my cousin, Madelaine, has finally understood the magic of Dr. Seuss.
5) This list is almost over. Rejoice.

oh here's a number 6: MIDTERMS ARE OVER!!!!

In order to make this post related to the blog: Alexander Ovechkin will be on television at 12:30 today.

Pre- All Star Game

We just watched the PreAll Star Game Show (I guess you can call it that) with all the twirly acrobats and the spinning violinist (wth?) and then came the actuall players. Who cares if I missed the Skillz competition yesterday and all of the hockey players dressed up in awkward Dolchank and Gabbona suits? (I fully realize my mistake) Seeing Ovie as a twitchy little gum chewing Neanderthal made it all totally worth it. I mean seriously?!?! He wouldn't stand still and watching him was like seeing a cow chewing its cud. Sorry Frostee.
Mom said it's cause they weren't playing his anthem but I know better. Evegni (or watever) was standing still.

#26

Happy belated 25th birthday, Vanek. I have a special message for you. First, let me make this clear: I don't like you. You're way too streaky... and not in a good way at all. You're the know-it-all kid who sits in the front row, with his hand constantly waving in the air, regardless of whether or not he actually knows the answer. Sometimes he does, and delivers an encyclopedia-worthy lecture. Other times, he apparently has a cerebral seizure and drools out some sort of answer like "foureenw62enty." I'm guessing Lindy feels like the teacher who doesn't know whether to call on you. You make or break the game, and every game, every single point adds up.
We paid you dearly, but alas, so far, our big star has not even come close to filling the enormous shoes of beloved Briere and Drury. *sniff* (May they rest in loudly-booed peace.) But you've has shown that when you're on your game, you OWN! You have the potential to be at the top of the league, and you have been. You hang out right in front of the net, waiting for the perfect pass. This scores an amazing amount of goals... PROVIDED that perfect pass comes. And the rest of the time...? You don't throw yourself into those nitty-gritty crucial battles along the boards, you don't chase after the puck. That's where games are won. Sure, highlight goals are pretty. But if you really want to be the guy to go to, you need to be a well-rounded player.
So focus on something other than receiving the puck. Think about the team here. Maybe pass the puck a little more, so you can rip it wide of the net less often. Remember that the system does not revolve around you, but rather you are a part of it. When your talent is applied to the whole, it becomes so much greater than the sum of its parts. Teams win Stanley Cups, not individual millionaires. Happy b-day, Van.

musings from Mrs. Miller

This is my first post, conveniently timed right after a rather nice win by the Sabies against the 'Canes. They got the lead early, had a bit of a seizure, then pulled themselves together well enough to grab 2 points. Not too shabby, guys.
A major factor in all of this was, of course, the hobo-in-net: Ryan Miller. He was surprisingly aggressive tonight, coming far out of his crease, stickhandling more, and even getting a little shove-y. Perhaps he was angry from the playoffs a few years ago. Maybe he was cheated out of $1.03 at the checkout. Whatever it was, Miller was beastly. In a good way. Hope this continues and even climaxes into a fight sometime. That would be hysterical to watch.
Any conflict between two grown men strapped into ridiculously clumsy layers of padding, locked in mortal combat beats professional wrestling any day. It's difficult to land a decent punch, but the best part is if one or both falls, they're like brightly colored turtles scrabbling around on the ice, completely unable to stand up on their own. Yes, Miller should really get into this scene...